7  Why I didn’t become a philosopher

Deep Springs was sometimes emotionally difficult. Was this a result of my being awash with youthful titers of testosterone – combined with an absence of women and thus any prospects of a social life? Or was this a result of the isolation inherent in Deep Springs - seeing the same few faces every day? Or both?

I would sometimes be excited about life, but at other times I would be upset or depressed. Once I noted that these emotions seemed to alternate in time, I derived My Circular Theory of the Universe. Thus, my emotions traversed a circular path, going from excitement to unhappiness and then back around again. My Circular Theory adequately described the dynamic emotions of my young and isolated life.

But before long, I realized that My Circular Theory was somewhat negative in that it described my life as merely going around and around in a circle and essentially getting nowhere. I decided my theory needed a mid-course mutation. Accordingly, I derived My Helix Theory of the Universe. [Note: my theory predated Watson and Crick and the double helix by a year or two!] My idea was that even though I might still alternate between positive and negative emotions, I should still learn something from each circuit and thus progress slowly upwards toward (wisdom). I liked my amended theory because it allowed for personal growth!

But I wondered whether I knew which way was up. This thought stopped me in my tracks, but it also inspired My Slinky Toy Theory of the Universe. Slinky toys are compressed helical springs that appear to be going uphill when they are going downhill. That seemed an apt – if pessimistic – metaphor for life.

A Slinky Toy. Source unknown

At that point I abandoned philosophy as a potential career.